Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize