Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
