Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
