what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
