You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
