i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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