I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
