OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
