My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
