did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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