I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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