I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize