so let's talk penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
