what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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