her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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