He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
