I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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