By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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