I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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