I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
