You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize