I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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