He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
