doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
