My boss' voice literally gives me gas
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize