Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The ass gains better be worth it
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