all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
