Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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