i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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