i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
