He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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