What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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