google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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