his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
