No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you had me at cake vodka
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
