To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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