the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He has the fingertips of a God
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