its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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