put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
