I'll bet she douches with gravy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
