I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize