Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
