is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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