STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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