dude i'm inner monologue high
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
