i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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