why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
