dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize