I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
