i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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