You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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