I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize