I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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