omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
