she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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