i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
