I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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